E15- Compassion Fatigue: Part 1

This episode discusses a bit about compassion fatigue- a common affliction with many animal welfare agents. We talk about the symptoms and some ways to cope- and next week we go more in-depth about our experiences, losses, and emotions surrounding our work and the people we know.

Pictured is our Adoptable Roadie, Idris Elba, a sweet and loving boy still looking for his home.

Original music by Matt Setter and friend Sean!

Original content by Matt Setter and friend, Sean!

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I'm Patty. No, I'm not Patty. Why do I do that? I'm Jme. You wish she was Pate? I know. I'm Jme. I'm Pate. And this is Motley Zoo Animal Rescue and our podcast Rescue Shit. We lost our squeaker. Where? Seriously, who took the squeaker? So compassion fatigue, we want to kind of give you an idea of what it is. And it's basically the general feeling that you have no more empathy to give. It's usually something that healthcare workers, first responders, you know, those kind of people, social workers that are helping people chronically as a job. Right. And it also very much affects animal welfare people and vets. Especially vets. Yeah, definitely. And there are some warning signs and sometimes they come on subtly, sometimes they just are overwhelming. But ultimately the result is burnout. Mm-hmm. In the end. They just get exhausted. Yeah. The signs of compassion fatigue are feelings of helplessness and powerlessness in the face of suffering, reduce feelings of empathy and sensitivity. Feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by work demands, feeling detached, numb and emotionally disconnected. Loss of interest in activities you use to enjoy. So I would say we have a few of those. Yeah, I mean, totally. I would say like my compassion fatigue at the moment would be the feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Because I mean, if anyone's looked at our post lately, it's, you know, urgent, I need fosters. I need fosters, I need fosters. We cannot keep up. And I don't even know how Yakima does it, honestly, like Bev and Shelly, like, kudos to you because damn. You know, because I see all the requests that they have. It's puppies upon puppies upon puppies, and I mean, dogs getting hit, dogs getting abandoned, skinny dogs. And I mean, it's never bloody ending. I mean, come on. Well, and even just before we turned on the recording, you were looking at the email and you're like, surrender, surrender, surrender, surrender. Yeah. And I've been trying to deal with them a couple at a time. Every day. But it's just every time I see that in the inbox, my heart drops and I just think I have to psych myself up for this. Yeah. So it is bad. Mm-hmm. I mean, yeah, I think we just have chronic compassion fatigue, but it's not stopping us (right) from moving forward. Whereas for some people, it really does stop them from moving forward or they have to quit their jobs. Mm-hmm. Because they cannot handle any more responsibility like of that being in front of people, suffering or animals suffering. Mm-hmm. So that is the definition of compassion fatigue and we'll just talk a little bit about some of our experiences and our concerns and how to help yourself if you need that, or maybe you know someone who does. Besides the symptoms of compassion fatigue, there are actually four stages. You know, like the stages of grief when someone dies, there's the zealot phase, the withdrawal phase, the irritability phase. Oh, that's me. And the zombie phase. That's it. I was gonna say, I'm one and three. So the zealot phase, and this is on a site, you know, kind of specified for veterinarians, but they feel committed, available, ready to make a difference. Willingly work long hours, enthusiasm is unending. That's definitely how most people start whether they're, you know, a staff person or a volunteer. Then withdrawal phase. The second stage is when enthusiasm turns sour and the bubbles burst. Complaints about work begin to surface. The individual's tired all the time and avoids talking about work. He or she begins neglecting family, coworkers, clients, or him or herself. I would say it doesn't have to go to that point, but the complaining about work that and the bubble bursting, that's definitely, part of it for sure. Irritability phase, this person starts avoiding, it says patient or client contact, but that would just be human contact probably. The use of humor is strained. Lapses of concentration begin occurring. People distance themselves further from family and friends. Then there's... That, I feel it's kind of weird that compassion fatigue, they would distance themselves away from their family and friends. Like... Maybe cuz people can't... That, that almost seems like a frigging depression kind of thing rather than compassion fatigue per se. That's just my thoughts. Well it is a kind of depression really. I mean it that hopelessness. So the zombie phase. All hopelessness turns to rage. The person begins to loathe any and all people, including coworkers. Others become incompetent. And there's a disdain for patients. And clients. And patience is minimal. Patience- the person's patience. Right. Right. So I can see some people I know in those different phases. And maybe that kind of too explains why sometimes, you know, things will be going great (mm-hmm) for a while. And then after about a year, people change in staffing or volunteering. Right. And then, and then like the last part about rage. I mean, I get it. You know, like, what am I saying all the time? Five minutes and a baseball bat? Yeah. Or someone needs a punch in the throat. And Facebook didn't like me saying that, but, but I mean, it, it happens, you know, I mean, you get so fed up with, I don't want to like, you know, generalize, but I'll, I'm gonna generalize right now. So it's not targeted at anyone specifically. No. But you get so fed up with people. And you get so fed up with people and their damn excuses of you know, Why? Any excuse? I mean, yeah, like, okay, why are you surrendering your animal? Why, did you not get your animal spayed and neutered? Why? You know, like... Well, there's like a long list and then by the time it adds up, you're just like mad at everything. Yeah. But you know, I kind of thought it's like an age thing, like, you spend your youth kind of out there, building relationships, communicating with people, like you seem to have eternal patience until about 30. And then once you hit 30, you're kind of like, oh, I'm almost 40 and I am gonna stop tolerating people that don't treat me well or, you know, things like that. So you start realizing like you have limited time and you're gonna choose wisely about how you spend it. Right. You have friends instead of acquaintances. Right. And then when you're 40, you know, you really even double down on that. You're not gonna spend time on that, which doesn't bring you joy. Yeah. I don't need your negativity. Right. I guess. Like, I feel like that's compassion fatigue for life. Like, because I mean, it, it is in a way. But if you've spent your youth, you know, out there like socializing and whatever, then you can cope later. But I think honestly, this is a version of why people are so disconnected now. They can't deal with people and it's on a very, very basic level, not even like a complex or job related level. It's just completely an an inability to deal with people. Right. I mean, everyone has compassion fatigue now. Exactly. Well, yeah, I mean, Compassion for other people. Compassion for animals. Oh my God. Like Cuddly, right? They've promoted some of our animals or whatever, and there's, I'm gonna totally butcher the name. A or a, I don't know. It's like someplace over there. Aberdeen. No. It's, it's Acan or something like that. Where, where is it? What state? I don't know it's like in, it's not a state, it's like a European... Azerbaijan. That one. Okay, fine. Azerbaijan. Okay. Are you sure? Yeah. Okay, fine. But dude, like the crap that they do to dogs is like horrible. Yeah. And I'm like, how could you, like if we, and we, like, you know, us motley zoo, we're not even on the front lines of this. Mm-hmm. You know, like we are secondary. Mm-hmm. I mean, we're even secondary to Yakima, right? Yeah. Because like, they're out there and they're like, okay, we've got the orchard dogs. We've got the, um, cul-de-sac, not cul-de-sac. What, what is it? Cul Cul, eh, what is that word? It's cul-de-sac. I don't know why you word culvert. Culvert. Uhhuh. Um, ditches. Right? It's like a ditch. Like all these puppies abandoned all these, I mean all these, you know, like our Sandman litter, you know, like two of the puppies were frozen. Yeah. And we got the babies that I had to bottle feed and like, where are their parents? Where's the mom? Where's the dad? Like, nobody knows. I mean, I got sent pictures of a dead frozen cow and... Oh wow. There's nah, and then there's three dogs surviving on the road. And then, okay, so my first question is like, okay, what the hell with the cow, right? Mm-hmm. And I guess that's a thing too, that like cows just wander? And then the poor dogs, right? Like they, they were eating the carcass cuz they had to survive. Right. But I mean like seriously, we are not even first responders, so to speak. No. With that stuff, like we see it after the fact and I couldn't imagine if we had to see it every day. You know? Yeah. Or be the one to euthanize the animals. Oh... Like in the shelters? Yeah. I remember, remember when we discussed taking the euthanization course? Just because if we had a situation where we needed to humanely euthanize an animal immediately... Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And we were struggling to get vet care... Mm-hmm. That we were gonna take it. Mm-hmm. And Bryan was like, I don't think you should do that. I don't even think you wanna open that door. Mm-hmm. I don't know if he's right. I think we could do it like we're kind of medically oriented, but... Well, to alleviate suffering, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's still hard. Yeah. Every time we do it. I mean, you know how I am with dead... I know. Things. So, yeah. I don't know. I mean, that would be the only like really front lines thing I could see that (Mm-hmm) we'd do. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I mean, we still see the animals come in in terrible condition. We still see, we know, I mean, we know where they came from. Yeah. But yeah, we're not the ones busting down the door and (right) breaking up the hoarding situation. Mm-hmm. Which, that would be hard. I think. I think like I would, I would get angry. Yeah. So I would be the rager. Yeah. I mean, I, I'd be hulking out. I mean, look at the, I mean, you know, like seriously, yeah. I'd lose my, and no one's really seen me lose it. No. You know, I can't watch the Animal Cops shows because I get so mad and I get so upset, but I realize it's because I can't actually just get up... Do anything. Do something about it. Yeah. Yeah. So, I can't watch them because I can't do anything. Yeah. But I know like, I know I am doing something about it. Yeah. Just not that particular story, but... Yeah. Yeah, I absolutely cannot watch them because I just get so outraged because I can't go put my hands on that animal and fix it. Right. Yeah. And I can't, okay. This is, I don't know why I'm laughing. I do, but, it's kind of like me watching documentaries, nature documentaries. Right? Oh, when they're chasing animals down and stuff. Are, are they okay? Meerkat Manor did it for me. Oh. Like, I'm sorry. I see you freaking weighing these damn animals all the time. And then a baby wanders off and you videotape it like dying in the sun or whatever because Oh, that's nature, but it's not nature because you intervene. You're like, we can't intervene. I was like, bitch, you are like weighing them. Mm-hmm. Like you are in there and they are used to you, so you've already intervened with nature, so you might as well just pick that baby up and put her back with a colony. Put it in your pocket. Exactly. You take it home! Right? Oh, I would totally with a meerkat. I know. I would, I would have a whole meerkat family living in my yard. Yeah. I need, I need foxes. So on this website it says that compassion fatigue and burnout are kind of different. Burnout develops over time. I mean, it develops from compassion fatigue, I would say. Yeah. It says burnout include emotional and physical exhaustion, feelings of negativity and indifference in the feeling like you're not getting the job done. And compassion fatigue has a little bit more to do with trauma. So like a lot of people in animal welfare have... Think they go hand in hand. Right? Or they think, oh, I have compassion fatigue when you really don't. You just have trauma. Trauma. Yeah. No, no, no. You just have burnout. Oh, ah-huh. Well, and a lot of times when they talk about compassion fatigue in the animal world, it's over the hard cases that you see. It is actual trauma. Mm-hmm. Like PTSD from the animal situations. Right. Whereas compassion fatigue, it could be that, but I always say that my compassion fatigue is in dealing with people. That's where I feel exhausted. I'm not tired of dealing with animals when I'm, I'm face-to-face and, (right) I don't think I've ever had an animal case that's traumatized me. Mm. Even as bad as they've been because I'm still doing something about it. Right. Yeah. I mean, but I mean, we can still be traumatized by some events, but we get over it. I mean, I mean, to, to continue, right. But I mean, there is like, you know, kind of like when you get rear-ended and you just never know when, like with cars or whatever, when they're gonna rear-end you again. So you have that kind of worry in the back of your head for a while. Mm-hmm. And so you're on edge, I guess, for lack of a better word, and you're uneasy. So, I mean, you remember it like after I lost, my precious Prius and Jessie, and then two was still with us. And no one- for some reason with the parvo- no one, I mean, she's fucking adorable. Like why did no one foster to a adopt her, right? Yeah. And I posted her and every other parvo puppy we've had, we've had foster to adopts, you know, but for her, we didn't. And having to see her without anyone, and then knowing that there was parvo in the house. And then afterwards, once we were past that parvo, I mean, it took me a while to get the puppies remember? And we were, and I'm like, I can't do it. I can't do it. Like we would get a request for a puppy. Yeah. And I'm like, Nope. Can't do it. Not ready yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, that's, that is trauma. Because part of it was like, oh my God, what if I didn't get all the parvo outta my house? Right. Even though I was bleaching every, every weekend, you know? Yeah. This one also has some different symptoms of compassion fatigue and kind of more generalized physical or emotional exhaustion, or both. Reduced feelings of sympathy or empathy. Dreading taking care of someone or the animals, and feeling guilty about that. Feeling irritable, angry or anxious, headaches, trouble sleeping, isolating yourself, feeling disconnected, reduced sense of accomplishment in caregiving, trouble making decisions and problems in personal relationships. So yeah, that one is a little more specific I think, about how kind of, you know, it can be pervasive in many aspects of your life. Mm-hmm. And then how to deal with it. It says to be aware of changes in your level of compassion fatigue. Try rating it on a scale so you know, perhaps every week you can give yourself a score. And then let's see the scale's up to you. One could be no symptoms, five could be a variety, and 10 would be that your symptoms are severe and unrelenting, that your health is at risk. Yeah, I would definitely say you do have to grade yourself from week to week to see if you're changing. Mm-hmm. Making self-care a priority. That definitely is one. And there's a lots of things people do to alleviate their stress. Mm-hmm. And it is really important. Meditation is a really good one. I know a lot of people poo poo it or they don't do it. Mm-hmm. But you're actually changing your brain and how you deal with stress. Mm-hmm. When you meditate. Yeah. And your brain is growing. So it's actually, it's like a workout for your brain and it helps you alleviate stress. So that's a good one. And I do it a little bit. I don't do it consistently enough. Mm-hmm. I really should. I even have an app, so... I was gonna say there's apps that help you meditate. Yeah. And so, you know, Bryan and I did it consistently for like four or five months. And then when the winter hit, then, I don't know, we just got lazy I guess. But one of the self-care things that I do is I get a massage, and right now it's every week. I cannot live without it. I can't like it, it's so important to me because I feel so much better when I get that and, you know, it's not like, okay, now I want to go to sleep. I actually feel refreshed and ready to do things because I don't feel so tight and worked up. Right. And I like to go to movies. Yes. So I don't, I don't like people touching me, so a massage would like really bother me. Mm-hmm. So I like to go see movies and, and that's my escape. Yeah. Well, and exercising, eating a healthy diet, sleep, like having a good sleep routine. Take time... Which I have is horrible. Oh God. Yeah. I actually have a pretty good sleep routine, but it's whether or not, I'm gonna wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep. Taking time for yourself, even if it's only 10 minutes. I don't know, maybe that's reading the paper in the morning with your coffee, just uninterrupted. I would say don't watch the news. Uh, yeah. The way I wind down at the end of the night is I'll get in bed and the stupid cat will like get in my way while I'm trying to play a game on my phone. That would wake me up trying to play a game. That would wake you up? Oh no. My brain. Yeah. Or you know, and then I'll play a little game on the computer. I'm not, I keep calling a computer. Well, I mean it, like, our phones are basically computers now, but, yeah, I'm, I'm in bed and I try to play a little game and then I read a few pages and then I'm pretty done. Yeah. I read, that's my, (yeah) my thing. And then spending time with friends. And obviously that's really important. They actually said that relationships slow down your brain shrinking. So being social is key to not getting Alzheimer's. Oh, damn. Yeah. So this is why... What about us introverts that's like, but suffered during covid and was like, Woohoo. But you do still thrive on some relationships. There are some relationships that if you didn't have them, your brain would be shrinking and you'd be getting dumber. No, it's... Dumb And dumber. Join support groups. Mm-hmm. Write in a journal. Writing in a journal is probably a good idea for most people because I think it's hard for a lot of people to actually, you know, reflect and be self-aware. And if journaling can help you do that, and really sometimes just writing things down (mm-hmm) helps. I know for me, I, if I'm upset, I'll write a letter. Mm-hmm. I don't even know if I'm gonna send it and I will spend hours writing a letter, but... Cuz you're getting it all out. I have to get it out. And it doesn't matter if the person ever hears it or not. I just, I need to deal with it that way. So, use positive ways to cope with stress. It's tempting to plop down in front of the tv, with a bag of chips and some wine. Instead take a walk, meditate, exercise for four minutes, practice deep breathing, call, visit, or text with a friend, watch funny clips on YouTube. Take a hot bath or shower. You know, I have to say that I do having bad habits sometimes of eating my feelings. Mm. You know, I mean, I'm not, I don't like ice cream, so I'm not one of those like, oh, let me grab a pint of ice cream. But yeah, I do like carbs, you know, so. So I do too. And, for a while I was seriously addicted to Crumbl Cookie. My god. Crumbl Cookie. So good. Couldn't, I couldn't go a day without having it or I was upset. I mean, I cut the cookies in quarters and, you know, I don't eat like multiple cookies in the day. Right? But, but oh my God, those, I mean, Crumbl Cookie, if you're gonna be addicted to anything, Crumbl cookies are amazing. Well, amazing. When Kristin came to me, she's like, okay, so how many times a week do you do it? That's what she said. And I was like, it sounds like we're talking about drugs. And she's like, well, it is, right. It is. It's kind of a drug. But so for about two months I had them almost every day. Wow. And then, you know, I was like, I am just, I can't do that. I'm not, yeah. This is not healthy. And I am getting fat because I'm not exercising. I don't even walk like I used to because you know, I used to walk 10,000 steps a day at the facility, but... Oh, well you could do that at WCK for sure. Right. But I'm not here every day. Yeah, yeah, I know. But yeah, and most of what I do is on the computer, so there's a lot of sitting. So I started to like gain weight and one of my pairs of pants, like, seemed tight, and I was like, what? Like, I've never had that happen. I know like someone probably wants to kill me for that, but I've never had that happen. And so it was very upsetting. But anyway, I haven't had any, Crumbl Cookie for over a month. And I actually haven't been craving it (really?) Which is... Well, we need a birthday soon, and then we'll have Crumbl Cookie and it'll, and you'll fall off the wagon. I will fall off the wagon. Spending time on hobbies, so that's something that I think is hard and I lose, that's so hard. I lose, I tend to lose interest when I have burnout or when things get bad, I tend to lose interest in my hobbies and things that I normally like to do. So it kind of sucks. It sucks for Bryan cuz he is like, wanna go do this, wanna go do that? And I'm like, no, I'm too tired. Mm-hmm. And so, you know, that's when sometimes I really have to muster my energy and, and go. Yeah. And I'll have fun when I go. Mm-hmm. But the idea of even getting there just seems tiring. Yeah. Uh, definitely speaking with a counselor or therapist that is, something that probably, maybe, you know, first responders, animal care, animal welfare people, caregivers of, you know, adult parents... that's probably a good thing to do. Mm-hmm. For most people. I mean, maybe even just once a month. But then it won't build up. Mm-hmm. And it won't, you know, overflow and get worse. Right. Because you can't get away from caregiving for an adult person. No. So that one has gotta be really hard. I think that has its own, not own moniker. What's the the word? It's got its own. It's got its own word. It's not compassion. It's caregivers fatigue, isn't it? Yeah. But it is compassion fatigue. Yeah. But you know, it can be specified. I think that's where the guilt comes in, where you get annoyed and you feel guilty that you are annoyed that you have to do this. Right. Because it's a job that doesn't go away. Right. Whereas like animal welfare, you could quit your job, you could change your career. You could step away. Yeah. You could take a vacation, but not from a person. Right. Yeah. Unless you have backup. And I think that's a thing is that everyone should have backup, right? Yes. I mean, I don't wanna say the more successful rescues, but the ones that we have seen that have lasted longer. Mm-hmm. Are duos, you know, like saving great animals is Jacintha and Perrin. Mm-hmm. You know? And how you can bounce things off each other. Yeah. And one can take the lead and the other, you know? Right. So that's all we have time for for this episode, and I guess this is gonna be our first, part three. It's time for Trilogy. Everyone loves trilogies. And on a nice, depressing subject. But yeah, we will be back next week to round out our... Will we though. Well, I don't know. Our series on compassion... Jesus. Compassion fatigue. You can't even say it. I can't even say it. That's it. I can't even say it. I'm Jme. I'm Pate. And this is our podcast Rescue Shit.. I did it again. Holy shit. I cannot... Rock on. Rescue on. You didn't squeak. Because we didn't say shit. Oh, I am hopeless.