This week we continue our discussion about compassion fatigue and some of the ways it affects us and those we work with. Learn about how we cope and the losses we have seen- and how we continue to move forward, despite the challenges.
Original music by Matt Setter and friend Sean!
Original content by Matt Setter and friend, Sean!
This week we continue our discussion about compassion fatigue and some of the ways it affects us and those we work with. Learn about how we cope and the losses we have seen- and how we continue to move forward, despite the challenges.
Original music by Matt Setter and friend Sean!
Original content by Matt Setter and friend, Sean!
Hey, this is Pate. And I'm Jme. And we are Motley Zoo Animal Rescue, and this is our podcast Rescue Shit. Whoops. So this week we're going to continue our discussion about compassion fatigue. Yeah. A serious, serious subject. People in different industries can get it, but it's especially common with people in the animal welfare industry. And it's basically just a complete overload of emotion and it turns into depression. It can cause people to take their lives. Right. So compassion fatigue is really important. And probably one of the most important things is to recognize that that's what it is. Right. And to seek help and not just bottle it up. It's not just rescue who has compassion fatigue. I mean, it's the animal industry. Our vets, our vets suffer from depression. I don't know if it's the highest rate of suicide, but... It's up there. Yeah. And people are always like, why? And honestly, I think it's because a lot of time they're dealing with people who won't actually spend the money and the time to help their dogs when they really need it. Right. And they don't want to euthanize dogs for things that could be fixed, but they can't do it all. They can't fix it all. And we had a situation like that. Do you remember, Pumbaa? Yeah. It got to the point they were having a heated argument and it got to the point where the vet was going to call animal control or the police. I think they should do that more often than they do actually. Probably. It's hard. It's hard to be that person, but... Oh, I have no problem being... I know, but the dog had a wound. Oh my God. That was gangrenous and his leg was rotting. Well, they didn't even want to go to the vet in the first place. Right. The daughter, the adult daughter had to sneak the dog to the vet. The second time. Yes. So this dog has a rotting leg. It's in terrible pain. Mm. And the mom was screaming that no one should touch her dog and... She was in serious denial. Yeah. And the vet would not give her the dog back. No. And that was the second vet. The first vet saw the condition, wrapped it and gave it back to the woman. Oh. And yeah, she just did nothing about it. Left this old gross bandage on this poor dog's leg... Uhhuh. So they had to sedate to take it off. Oh, wow. I didn't know that part. Yeah. This is one of those, I'm just pulling in the driveway after a long day at work. Mm-hmm. And Pate's like, Hey, we got this case at the vet. And I'm like, all right, I'm on my way. I mean, that's the kind of stuff, we get off the couch for, we get up and go. And it was your jam because it was an older dog. Yes. A smaller, older dog. Yes. When I met him, I was just stunned. One, he had tusks. Hmm. His bottom canine teeth they were like tusks. Mm-hmm. I have never seen a dog like that. Mm-hmm. And the other problem was that he had such bad dental disease. Mm. So it was kind of a coin toss as to whether you deal with the mouth or the leg first. Right. Because we know that severe dental disease, because of the bacteria in your mouth, it goes in your bloodstream. So that's the reason why it was a toss up. It's because sometimes some conditions can be taken care of when you clean and take care of the teeth. Yes. And you know, if he couldn't eat very well, then it would be harder to recover from surgery an amputation if he couldn't eat right. And sadly that's what happened. I trust that the vet did the right thing, but they amputated his leg and it was really bad. Yeah. Right. Because it was like, rock in a hard place. Yeah. And he wasn't healing. Mm-hmm. Like he wasn't recovering. Mm-hmm. And, you know, most of the time amputations are not that bad. Right. This dog was in terrible pain. His, his... Horrible! His mouth turned gray. He was crashing(mm-hmm) and bleeding. And so I brought him to the vet and... The ER vet. Yes. And he actually lost a tooth while they were trying to treat him(Mm) because his teeth were so bad. Yeah. And you know, they were like, he's not eating and drinking and it's cuz he was in so much pain. And so, I had to make the call... I don't know how long this dog suffered before we got him. Right. But I knew at this stage it would be six to eight weeks of suffering if he wasn't recovering properly. Well, like could he even... Yes. Last six to eight weeks To heal. Yeah. To heal and then be in this type of pain and discomfort. Like,(no) was it fair to him? And those are the questions that, you know, those are the hard questions we have to ask ourselves sometimes. I only had him for a couple days and I was devastated to have to make that choice. Mm-hmm. But I did not want him to suffer(no) any longer, especially because I knew he'd been suffering for a long time before that. Right. It's just, it's a hard decision. And then this, this is what culminates in a type of compassion fatigue is we see these cases and we wanna save'em all. Right? And we can't. And when we are forced to make a decision like this, that was brought on by pure neglect, you know, like how, how can you be around an animal in so much pain. Mm-hmm. And know that, how do you not know that you're, you're, you're causing this? Like seriously, you went to the fucking vet. You went to the vet and you got the leg wrapped, you know, there was a problem. You know, there was an issue. And you still did nothing and let this puppy suffer. It wasn't a puppy. It was an older dog... But he couldn't even walk on it. I mean like, come on. Yeah. That's a pretty obvious sign that he's in pain. Right. This is the stuff we see and this is the stuff that can build up and be like, why do we bother? Yeah. You know, it, it like takes a piece of your heart. Yeah. Every time. And honestly, this is the stuff we shield our volunteers and fosters from for the most part. Yeah. They do not know the things that we see and most of the time when we tell their stories, it's a much, you know, toned down version of the story because we cannot really express how bad it was. Right. Because we're focused on, moving forward, getting funding for their treatment. Mm-hmm. But the other thing is that we're not even on the front lines. Yeah. We are a second wave of response(yeah) as a foster based system, we are not taking in strays, we are not the first place that people go to dump their animals. Mm-hmm. And so, you know, right now, Pate and I have been pretty upset and stressed out about this overwhelming number of animals in the shelter, especially big dogs, especially Huskies and German Shepherds. Oh God, yeah. And... Like what's with the Huskies? Yeah. And it's like there's more Huskies than pit bulls now. Yes. Pit bulls are on the list, but yeah. And the people at the shelters, have to see this kind of thing every day. Mm-hmm. And you know, Washington used to have a really low rate of euthanization, but we are in a really bad position right now. Yeah. And shelters are euthanizing and... Well, I mean, we have not had shelters say they are at capacity in years. Yeah. Like it's years. 10 years. We're not, yeah. And we're hearing from shelters we haven't heard from the entire 10 years. And now they're contacting us left and right. Yeah. And we, we don't have any room. We can't help them. And that's why we keep asking for Fosters. We cannot save more until we get more fosters and the way that we've been doing things, like I've been able in the past to, talk to Texas or whatever, and they say, Hey, we have some puppies that we'd like to send up. When they contact me, they're about a month old or whatever. And so I'm like, oh yeah, we should have room in like a month, a month and a half. And that's how it's always worked. Mm-hmm. And I've always had room. And now we've got these puppies that(nobody's adopting) on top of each other. That in the past, like just months ago. Yeah. They would've been adopted already. Yeah. And so that we wouldn't have like litter upon litter stacking up. And there's nothing wrong with these puppies. No. There's absolutely nothing wrong. And you know, so the people in the shelters are on the front lines and I am on this fashion, fashion, compassion fatigue Facebook page, and sometimes I can't read it, honestly. Yeah. Because it just reminds me that things are really bad or they're worse in other places. Oh yeah. But there was one girl who was on there and she was just saying, you know, it's getting worse and it's every day. And, and she's like, I don't wanna get up. I don't want to go to work. And you know, she's like, one day I'm playing with this dog in the yard and the next day he's in the room. Yeah. And he's gone and she's like, I just sit here with my bottle and cry. Yeah. I mean, I'd be drinking a lot and I don't drink. Yeah. Well, and you know, you know, a lot of people in that position too, they don't have someone to talk to. They don't have someone that understands. Their spouse or, significant other is just not as into rescue or whatever as them. Or they're just dogs. Like, if I hear that one more time, I'm gonna punch someone in the throat. Yeah. Sometimes people just feel like they don't have an outlet and there's no one that will listen to them and understand their pain. And, you know, this is why the Facebook group exists. Mm-hmm. It takes a toll on us all the time. Yeah. And I guarantee you, I am gonna live 10 years less, at least from all the stress and all the things that we go through... And we're not even on the front lines. So people are like, oh my God, I'm so stressed out. And, and I'm like, okay. Mm-hmm. Because you know, I'm getting all these emails. Do you have room for this dog? Do you have room for this litter? We have a mom and puppies. The dog hit by a car, whatever. I mean, and I'm not saying I'm shutting down, but if I can't say yes to them, and we've always been able to say yes before. Yeah. Yep. And, and so it's, it's very, it's very not demoralizing. No, it is. But well, okay, fine. But it, it just makes you feel like, what's the point? Well. This is just getting worse. It's not getting better. Right. It's not, it's... Not being able to help is, is a killer. Yeah. Especially being full and just having to say No, no, no. I mean, you know, the, the deaf semi blind, Aussie puppy that is waiting for us. Yeah. And... And I've got a deaf puppy that I took in that they postponed a few times. When I said I would take him, they waited for me to empty out my house and my house didn't get emptied. No. And you just had to take him. Because I promised, over a month ago. Yeah. Well and you know, I knew that and I told the lady we can't take him. I mean, that is a Motley Zoo dog written all over. Oh my God. And especially to train him and mm-hmm. You know, that's a, a really unique case to work with and... And we've done it before. Yeah. We know how to work with deaf dogs. We know how to work with blind dogs. And they need extra training. Yeah. They, they need a different kind of training. Yep. Thankfully this woman is gonna hang onto the dog until we have a better time. But, you know... Please foster! That's gonna be months. If we don't have people stepping up to take our healthy puppies, the special needs un, special needs puppies, I mean, like seriously, there's nothing wrong with these puppies. They're just large breed puppies. Right. You know what, and small breeds too. Yeah. I mean... That's actually ridiculous. I mean, you, you've had multiple litters of small dogs and you couldn't move them anywhere. Mm-hmm. No. I mean, they're getting adopted from your house, which doesn't usually happen. No. Cuz normally there's Fosters who are like, oh yeah, I'll take, you know? Yeah. Well, and I mean, it is true that people are going through a high level of stress. Mm-hmm. But, you know, it's perspective. Mm-hmm. And it's just hard because people freak out that their dinner didn't come out right or on time, or I don't know, whatever they're losing their minds over. Right. And here we are really feeling like the last 10 years of our effort is just going backwards. Yeah, that's what it definitely feels like. It's backwards. Cuz before we did not have a problem in Washington. We took animals from other states because we didn't have a problem. Yeah. And now we do. And this is us even communicating with each other. You know, like rescues, talking to rescues. I mean, we have dogs from other rescues. We have dogs from the shelters. Well, how about the fact that a specific shelter where it's their jurisdiction is supposed to take a dog that we found as a stray and they, they won't call you back because they have too many dogs like that at the shelter and they don't want another one and they trust us. Yeah. But this is... But then I'm full. This is exactly, we did not need that one extra dog. Right. And we'll do right by'em. Right. You know, because we are a rescue. We saved him from being pavement pizza. Okay. But we were overwhelmed when that happened. And then the shelter is supposed to take him and they won't. Well, yeah. They don't want to because, you know, kennel stress. Kennel stress is a real thing. Yes. And that could be the reason that that dog gets euthanized. Right. So, you know, it's... Inconvenient for... like I wouldn't say it's inconvenient because saving a life is not inconvenient, but it wasn't part of our plan to add when we need to adopt out and move out. Well, and it's like organized chaos, right? It's always chaos. Yeah. But we're trying to put the pieces together. Yeah. And trying to make it make sense. So everything isn't an emergency all the time. Right. That is in and of itself. And then, you know, dealing with people when they are not listening or they are not doing what they're supposed to do. And that could be any number of people including your children while you're trying to deal with these things or whatever, you just get so tired. Yeah. I mean, and that's the thing is like, you are tired. I mean, not that I'm complaining, but I, I don't, well... We're not... I don't sleep a lot. No. And, and that is true. I have a lot of trouble sleeping, and I'm lucky if I can get through a week and this doesn't mean that I am like lying awake, worrying. That's not even it. Oh, that's me. Oh, see, I'm not like a worrier. I just feel anxiety. I just feel overwhelmed or stressed or, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't worry about things that I can't fix. Well, I mean, I wouldn't say, okay, maybe worry is not the right word. Mm-hmm. But, I'm always in my head, I'm like, okay, I need to move this dog. Like, some applications came in, like, how did, how did they look? I mean, will they take this puppy? Will they take, you know, this dog? Or, trying to make matches and then people, I don't know, like, I don't wanna say people are, not wishy-washy, what's that word? When they, not flaky, finicky? No. May, is it finicky? Fickle? That one, yes. Fickle. And just dealing with the fickleness, like one day it's great and then you don't hear from them for a week and they're like, Hey, so you know, I am maybe interested in this dog. And it's like, Yeah, it's been a week. I'm like, okay, I, granted it's been a week. Okay. You know, cuz sometimes like we try to answer as quickly as we can. Sometimes emails go to spam and people don't check their spam folder. Mm-hmm. But delays happen. Right? I get it. But when it is been a week, and then they have a question. Mm-hmm. And then it's been another week. So technically we're looking at two weeks now, and they have another question. It's like, do you really want this dog? Well, and what they don't realize is their indecision is holding up the show for all the other dogs that need help. Right. And every day an animal stays with us is a day that another one will die. Mm-hmm. So, you know, people don't understand. You know, and they're like, well, it took you two weeks to get back to me about adopting. Yeah, that's just how long it takes us. But it, it shouldn't be, we're potentially losing out on the opportunity to help animals because we're waiting on you. Right. For convenience or to make up your mind, or to navigate whatever situation you're going through that's not on the animal and... right. And that's where it gets hard and we have to be the heavy. Right. And I think I've said this before when someone emailed, and I don't know why it even bothered them. They were like, you know, you are always emailing at, at inopportune times, like in the middle of the night, and I'm like, yeah, cuz I kind of need to, you know, like, so does, why does it matter that I'm emailing you at 2:00 AM. Like, because I'm trying to go through my emails and... I thought that was... And get things done. I thought that was really weird too, because it's not like a phone call where you have to respond(right?) At the time... you respond when you get it. Yeah. And it doesn't matter when it was sent. That's why I like email. Well, and who works around the clock to answer emails? Who does that? Only rescue. Yeah. Right. Because the shelters don't, the shelters have specific hours. And staff. Right? And I'm not knocking shelters, I'm just saying, yeah, you're not getting a 2:00 AM email from the shelter and then the shelters don't get the slack. I mean, the flack that we do well, like, how rude that you would email me at 2:00 AM Yeah. That's freaking weird. But... When we ran the daycare facility in Redmond, that was probably the furthest removed from real rescue that you could get and still be working for a rescue with a rescue. And, in moving to now where, where our staff is now, it's basically your foster home. Not necessarily your house, but they're working for a foster home now. And so it's kind of like a mini shelter. Mm-hmm. And yes, we have a lot of dogs and yes, we are over capacity and it's unusual, but, our volunteer coordinator, started talking about compassion fatigue like I had never heard of it. And I was like, oh yeah. And she's like, it's a real thing and I didn't know there was a name for it. And she told another trainer about it. And that trainer said there's a name for that. So we've worked with these people for years and they never had an inkling of compassion fatigue. Interesting. And four months of this life dealing with... Actual hands-on, working with the foster, being a part of the actual rescue versus the taking care of daycare clients as a fundraiser for the rescue. Mm-hmm. So now they're actually seeing rescue versus client dogs. Yeah. I mean it... Or just a different aspect? Just a different point in their, the life of the rescue dog. Right. Like, by the time even our fosters are going to the daycare, they're healthy. Yeah. They are, you know, happy. Yeah. But they don't see how sick they are. Yeah. They don't see, you know, But, but now they do, now they're seeing and it is affecting them. And so I felt bad. I was like, I'm so sorry. Because they never had compassion fatigue before, so it, I didn't think it was a problem but now I know it is. And it's partially because of the change in the kind of environment that we have. Right? Well, I mean... In the daycare, they saw Maybe an hour of when we had a transport. Yeah. Or they'd wash a dirty puppy or Yeah. Hold a sick kitten or something. Yeah. And then, but that was like a blip. Yeah. And you know, now they see how overwhelming too it is to have a litter of puppies running around all the time that they have to clean up after. And It's not Instagram. No. Like, I mean, Instagram is the minute after you clean. Yeah. Yeah. And then it lasts maybe half an hour. Yeah. No, no, no. You know what? No, I lie. It may it like you put a clean thing down and then. Okay, because Morpheus did that this the other night, like I cleaned everything and I put new bedding down and he is like, Hmm, I think I shall take a shit. It is so frustrating. This is part of the reason why I don't even foster puppies at all. So much poop. Yeah. And so I feel really bad that I didn't know that that was happening. But I, you know, told her about the Facebook page and I'm like, I don't even know though if you wanna join it because Oh, it might make you feel worse. Yeah. Because it... You're not even seeing... No, like, it makes me, sometimes it makes me feel like. Well, it's bad here, but it's worse there. And then how many people are saying how bad it is. Mm-hmm. And they don't have anyone to talk to, or their rescue or their shelter are completely dysfunctional and the people are not doing right by the people or not doing right by the animals. Mm-hmm. And, and who's gonna change that? Yeah. Who is gonna change that? And this is their life. They're so committed to the animals, but they can't do it without all this red tape, all this stuff that is hurting the animals. Mm-hmm. And I mean, think about the people that actually do have to euthanize the animals that, I mean, who will, who gets up in the morning and says, I'm gonna go euthanize some animals today. Well, I don't know. I mean, you gotta it not all shelters... Have compassionate people working there. Yes. Right. Because I have volunteered at shelters before and I'm like, do you even like dogs? Like, why the hell are you here? I, I would say that it's probably a defense mechanism. There are some, people that you know, don't like animals become, I mean, in animal control, that can be a problem. Mm-hmm. It's people who got into police work. Not animal work. Right. And they're not doing it for the sake of the animals. They're doing it, you know, they kind of fall into it, a lot of people. Yeah. And so, you know, animal control agents are known not to be the most compassionate people. Not all of'em. We're not, we're not, you know, no. We know some amazing ones, right. I mean, super amazing ones, but that is not always the norm. Mm-hmm. Well, and just like people say, you know, oh, you get into vet care cuz you love animals. I've seen some of those vets. Yeah. I can definitely say that is not true. I've had some like serious callous vets, like, I don't know, like, it was my second litter, it was Dolly and like the vet there, and we're not gonna say the name or whatever, but let's just say we never take our animals there. No. Handed a dying puppy back to me and said, just keep her warm. Mm. And I'm like, and then they gave me like, a glove(mm-hmm) with warm water in it. I'm like, you're fucking kidding me. Right? Mm. And, and now I know more, like maybe I could have saved her, I don't know. Mm-hmm. But I mean, that shit doesn't go away right in your head. And you, you talk about compassion fatigue, like, Things like that don't go away and it builds up and... Well, and maybe they're so callous because they're way burnt out. Maybe they were at one point considerate and had good, you know, bedside manner or whatever. Mm-hmm. Maybe they're just so far gone. So there was a adoption event that we went to in the early days and it might have been your first event or your second event, and there was another rescue there, which actually come to think of it as kind of surprising cuz we don't normally do things with other organizations there, but... Not that we're like stuck up, but yeah. No, it's a safety issue... Right. But there was this other rescue there, and the lady, the way she was talking to people was so horrible. And she made a bunch of people cry. What? And they were leaving her table crying. And I turned to Bryan and I said, If I ever have that look in my eye, if I ever get to that point and I don't realize it, you have to tell me. You have to tell me and I have to quit. And I recognized that then and there. And this is why, you know, we're not sanctimonious, you know, playing God. But this is why rescuers can be really grumpy and rude, and unfortunately it's pretty common. And you know, we do our best not to be that way. Every now and then it slips out. You gotta, you know, every now and then someone has a bad day. Yeah. But this is why it's so tiring to feel like you are the garbage men for for people. Mm. For people not doing the right thing. But wait a minute, why were they crying? What was she saying? It was something like, you know, you could never have this kind of puppy, because you live in an apartment and you would never like... Oh. And she was like, but she was making it like personal. Ew. And it wasn't like, no, it's not a good fit, you know? Mm-hmm. It was like, No, you would be a horrible owner and... Oh, wow. Yeah. Maybe she's having a bad day. Maybe a bunch of people gave her one star. So she's like, you all sucked. Right. Well, and I mean, okay. If you're gonna act that way, you get a one star. Right? Right, right. But, but you know, none of the one stars that we have have has been because we acted that way. Well, they didn't get what they wanted. Right. But it's burnout. Yeah. And then when, we talk about suicide with vets. Yeah. Dr. Sophia Yin is probably one of the most well known vets that took her life. Yeah. She had these great posters and information that she drew in a really cute style... I don't know that she drew'em, but she, I know what you're talking about. Those, the informational flyers. Like with the whole like, fear free, she kind of, changed vets' outlook, I guess, made them more bedside manner instead of very... Yeah. Just, a softer approach. Yeah. Yeah. And, and you get better results. Yeah. Making the experience of going to the vet less scary by doing these things. Yeah. And here, let's, let's show these pictures of what dog body language looks like when they're scared. Yeah. And we hung that in our, our dog daycare room. Mm-hmm. So people could identify if one of the dogs was behaving that way. Oh. And, you know, so she was really well known. Yeah. She had made a lot of progress in the vet world in(yep) in, people understanding body language, introducing animals to each other, to kids. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And trying to make vet visits not so scary for dogs. Yeah. And she took her life and everyone was dumbfounded. Yeah. Everyone was shocked. But Because she was always smiling. Yeah. But it just takes a toll. Yeah, it does. When I first moved up here, I had a vet friend and we, she was my vet in Florida, and we bonded because we were both Basenji lovers. And we didn't always see eye to eye, you know? She was a vet, so she's like, oh, vet food. I was like, dude, no, and we argued back and forth, but in a good way, right? Because I could talk the talk with when it came to medicine and... Well, you genuinely... Terminology or whatever. And you genuinely wanted to learn from each other. Right? Yeah. And so we were friends but obviously not great friends because, you know, when she killed herself, she didn't say bye. I had to find out why I hadn't heard from her in a while so I found that, that she did take her own life. But when I moved away from Florida, we still, you know, talked to each other on Facebook. She showed me her new Basenji puppy. She told the Basenji rescue about me because I was like, I want another Basenji. You know? And because I love Basenjis and I think you've said that maybe once or twice. I'm trying to make it happen. Yeah. So we talked a lot. And then she was kind of like my sounding board. We had really bad demodex cases and I'm like, dude, this isn't helping. What do I do? You know? And. So we had that camaraderie. She was always there to help me. And then we always talked Basenjis and we always like, okay, fine I was her sounding board too, about like stupid people. And she was an ER vet. Oh, she was a normal vet and she was an ER vet, so, When I say normal vet, sorry. Like daytime vet? Yeah, yeah. Daytime, weekday vet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah. Well, and that's hard enough. But then the ER adds that complexity and how many times people don't have the money to fix their pet, or they say like they want to, but they don't have the money. Mm-hmm. Or they're just like, oh no, I'm not gonna spend that. Right. And then, you know, and then so she would see the cases of take care of your animal. Mm-hmm. You know, like, why are you not taking care of your animal? And then she'd be the brunt of people, yelling, saying You are money grubber. And she's like, I don't own this clinic. I don't set the prices. You know. Because everyone's emotional and they want their care for free. Right. Yeah. And I get it, you know? Mm-hmm. It's expensive(Mm-hmm) Sometimes, I mean, like,"Gee", 20,000, we fixed him. Mm-hmm. He's well as fixed as he can be. Right. But I mean, and then DJ. It was an overnight toxicity over water. I mean, no one is going to expect that. Mm-hmm.$3,000. When I had to take Zelda after she was burned(Mm-hmm) the vet asked for a$10,000 deposit. Yeah right. I mean, thankfully I had that credit. It wasn't a problem for me. Mm-hmm. But it's a problem for most people. It would be a problem for me. I mean, I don't have$10,000 just to, no. Yeah. You know, And I'm not wealthy either. But you know, we still, we have a lot of pets. Right. And we have a lot of expenses with those pets. Right. We don't have kids, so that also helps balance it out. Right. But go on, keep telling your story. No, but I mean my vet friend took her life, and it was out of the blue unexpected, cuz she was always smiling. Right. So compassion fatigue is real. And even though I was a sounding board for her, it wasn't enough. No. And she didn't let you know about that... Mm-hmm. Deepest part, you know? Right. Or, or how much she was suffering from it. Just a couple weeks ago, a local person, the Youngest Old Cat Lady. Yes. A girl named Ashley Morrison, who was actually a friend of a friend of mine. Mm-hmm. And this friend of mine had said, Hey, you know, my friend is this girl, the youngest old cat lady on Instagram, and you know, you guys should hook up and be friends. And so I started following her immediately. I didn't reach out to be friends, I guess. I don't know. Not on purpose, not whatever. It just, you know, But I really admired her marketing ability. I really admired like how she was able to reach people. And, you know, it's not about the likes, it's not about the following, but you know, she took hundreds of pictures every day and she was so committed to it. Mm-hmm. And, you know, come to find out that she, you know, she's working with people that are our friends at a shelter. And so when I found out, I didn't know it was her, and then I realized that that person and this girl were the same person and what a terrible loss to our world. Right? And, and what's ironic about it is that I had no idea who she was. I had never heard of her before, but that doesn't mean anything. No. She's pretty big. And I, I know she's huge. And then I saw this post about her passing and. I like to research, so I mean, I Instagrammed and then I found out who she was and I was like, oh my gosh, she's local. Mm-hmm. You know? And then she had this huge following, like two over 200,000 followers on Instagram and stuff like that. So she was huge. And, you know, I'm just, you know, blinders on. Well, I mean, we're busy doing what we're doing, right? And you don't always know. I wouldn't have known about her if my friend didn't point her out Right. To me. But the fact is not, the fact is, but it's weird that I knew about her passing and I didn't know her, but you knew of her and you followed her and didn't. And this is a person who, when she Killed herself. Mm-hmm. Like, I don't even know how to make it pretty, but when she killed herself, she let her fans know, or her followers, I guess, by posting a goodbye. Scheduling it. Scheduling it like two days after she passed. Yeah. So nobody could call the police. And, and, but they still No, but it, but, but they still did. Yeah. And then the family had to say, please stop. She's gone. Yeah. You know, the, it is not call the police and have them go check on her. She's gone and she's been gone for, I wanna say it was two days or something. Yes. Because it took them that long to kind of get their, their stuff together to even make. Even just make sense of it. And they still haven't planned a memorial or anything because they're, they're so, just, everyone is just so overwhelmed and yeah, unfortunately her father had killed himself. Oh. And one of her closest friends reposted something she had said, after her dad had died about, like reach out, get help. Mm-hmm. Like she was inspiring other people(right) not to go down that path. Right. And then, you know, here she is rescuing kittens left and right. And she's doing a great job at it. And she had started a foundation. She had the attention of the kitten lady. She had the attention of, Jackson Galaxy. She had the attention of some big people, so they knew who she was and so obviously she was successful. Mm-hmm. In that regard, but it wasn't enough. Right. It was really heartbreaking that someone that cared that much for the animals and really lived for them, you know, is gone. Right? I mean, we don't have enough of those people in the world. No. And it is the most compassionate people that have such a struggle with depression. I mean, and compassion fatigue. You don't meet total dickheads that are suicidal because, right. Like... Because they don't care. Right. Because they don't care. So it affects the people with the biggest hearts. The sensitive Yeah. People. The sensitive people. And I am terrified that this is going to become far more common in our world, and it's gonna be people we know. Right? Because I mean, when you care sometimes you can care too much. And that's where the compassion fatigue comes in. Like, cuz it's not that you think of a problem and it manifests. The problem's out there. And even though you are making a difference, like Ashley, she made a huge difference in the animal world, right? She saved a lot of lives. She should have felt needed, and should have felt fulfilled. Mm-hmm. You would think, I'm not saying that, you know. No, not that you're putting that on her. But No, no, no. But you would think with the work that you do, that you are making a difference. You are definitely making a difference when you step up to foster, you are changing a life. You are saving a life. And Ashley did that. Mm-hmm. You know? So if you ever feel empty and not needed, not valued, not anything like that, you know, that she should have felt that she was valid. Yeah. You know, but it obviously wasn't enough. And because it's such a big mountain. Mm-hmm. If you think about it. Mm-hmm. And, and like I said, you know, like 10 years ago, it's like we took a step back, we had a big ass mountain and we thought, hey, we finally, like, we blew the top off. You know, we are in control in Washington, our spay and neuter like we are good(mm-hmm) in Washington and now let's go help others. And then now it's just like, oh, well, let me go put that cap back on Mount Helens because we are not in control anymore. And then when you think about that mountain, getting to the peak of that mountain becomes outta sight and overwhelming again. Mm-hmm. You know, and you're down at the base and you're like, Ugh. Do I even bother because like an avalanche just like knocked me all the hell the way down. Mm-hmm. Well, and you know, it can be as simple as things like, you know, your friends and family going and buying a dog. Oh, Jesus. And I'm just like, wow. Like I've dedicated my life to these animals and I've tried to educate people and I can't even reach my own friends and family. Mm-hmm. And I have more in common with strangers it seems. Or, you know, sometimes, like, I'm not preaching, I'm, you know, preaching to the choir with complete strangers. Mm-hmm. And it's overwhelming to think that the last 10 years we are now moving backwards. So that's all the time that we have for today. However, there's a lot more that we need to cover. We need a trilogy. I'm Jme. I'm Pate. And this is Rescue Shit. Rock on. Rescue on.